Monday, December 9, 2013
Like A Bad Case Of Herpes, Rebecca Black is Back Is Continue Her Quest To Commemorate The Seven Days Of The Week
It's pretty much the same exact song as Friday, only with less rapping and more twerking/selfies.
Joique Bell- RB, Lions- Week 14 Stats: 23 car, 69 rush yds, 1 rush TD, 4 rec, 58 rec yds
Despite having more fantasy points on the season than heavily owned players like Ray Rice, Le’Veon Bell, Danny Woodhead and Zac Stacy, Bell is still available in close to 35% of all leagues. The undrafted back out of Wayne State got the start Sunday in Philadelphia after teammate Reggie Bush reinjured his calf during warm-ups, and made the most of his golden opportunity- finishing up with 127 total yards and a score. We saw Bell flourish in Bush’s absence earlier in the season, and we could be looking at a repeat performance should Reggie miss any more time. He must be owned in all formats.
Toby Gerhart, RB, Vikings- Week 14 Stats: 15 car, 89 rush yds, 1 rush TD
Perma-handcuff Toby Gerhart once again found himself in the fantasy relevance discussion- and just in time for the playoffs! This, after the league’s reigning MVP, Adrian Peterson, got carted off in the second quarter with what was ultimate diagnosed as a “mid foot sprain.” Gerhart filled in nicely, finishing up with 89 rushing yards and a A.P.esq touchdown run that temporarily gave the Vikes the lead late in the fourth. No timetable has been set for Peterson’s return, but you’ve got to figure that a team eliminated from playoff contention would proceed with caution in regards to the ageing face of their franchise. If he does miss time, Gerhart certainly warrants flex consideration.
Dennis Pitta, TE, Ravens- Week 14 Stats: 6 rec, 48 rec yds, 1 rec TD
Coming off a dislocated hip, Pitta made his presence felt in his 2013 debut, catching six balls for 48 yards and a score the Ravens 29-26, seesaw victory over the Vikings. Flacco made up for lost time by targeting the bruising tight end out of BYU a team high 11 times, including on a 4th and goal pass for a go-ahead score with just over two minutes remaining. He played a big part in Baltimore’s Super Bowl run a year ago, and could play a similar role for your fantasy team this time around. Especially for Gronk owners in need of a serviceable replacement.
Da’Rick Rogers, WR, Colts- Week 14 Stats: 6 rec, 107 rec yds, 2 rec TDs
LaVon Brazil, WR, Colts- Week 14 Stats: 3 rec, 53 rec yds, 2 rec TDs
Anomaly or not, Brazil and Rogers each hauled in as many touchdowns (2) as teammate T.Y. Hilton did receptions in the Colts 42-28 loss to the Bengals. Now I wouldn’t feel comfortable starting either in a fantasy playoff game, but desperate times call for desperate measures. If I had to chose one, I’d go with Rogers because he had double the amount of targets (9) than Brazil, and that’s usually the best barometer for future success. I’d only give him the nod if you need you’re projected to lose by a lot and need to swing for the fences. If your week 15 matchup is expected to be competitive, stick to the guys who got you there.
Jason Campbell, QB, Browns- Week 14 Stats: 29 of 44 for 391 pass yds and 3 pass TDs
Here are some fun facts for you- no team has attempted more passes in 2013 than the Cleveland Browns (561). Josh Gordon’s 774 receiving yards in the past four games set the record for the highest total over a four game stretch in NFL history. Chicago is allowing the fourth most ypg and the fifth most ppg to opposing offenses. Guess who Cleveland plays in week 15? That’s right, the Chicago Bears. Heading into this season I never would have thought I would be advising readers to “start your Browns!” come playoff time, but that’s exactly what I’m doing. Aaron Rodgers owners take note.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
2 Man Weave Anti-Lock Of The Week (4-9) Dallas over Chicago
Because I still don't have internet at my apartment and by the time I finally got on a computer this was the only game left that hasn't been played!
The King's Throne
Keytwitty (35-29-1) Oak +3, K.C. -3.5, Den -12.5, Det +3, Sea +3
Watch The Throne
Chooch (31-33-1) K.C. -3.5, Bal -7, N.O. -4, Pitt -3, S.D. -3
Cambo (29-33-3) *did not submit picks*
J Fonts (28-34-3) Jax +3, Wash +3.5, Cle +11.5, Ten +12.5, St. Lou +6.5
Danye (27-35-3) Min +7, Oak +3, Dal, Sea +3, Car +4
Dough Boy (27-36-2) Chi, N.O. -4, Oak +3, Det +3, N.E. -11.5
Miggs (26-37-2) Jax +3, K.C. -3.5, T.B. -2.5, NYG +3, Chi
Miggs (26-37-2) Jax +3, K.C. -3.5, T.B. -2.5, NYG +3, Chi
Flem (22-38-5) K.C. -3.5, NYJ -3, Indy +5.5, Det +3, Den -12.5
Gary (22-40-3) Car +4, K.C. -3.5, T.B. -2.5, Det +3, Chi
Thursday, December 5, 2013
These two ASU frat bros just learned the hard way that you do not fuck with grandpa strength. Kicking face, tossing haymakers, and collecting social security checks to boot!
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
It's a tradition unlike any other- on Tuesday mashup artist DJ Earworm dropped the 2013 version of his annual Billboard Top 25 compilation. This year's edition, titled "Living The Fantasy", features a lot of double dipping. With artists like Macklemore, Miley Cyrus, Imagine Dragons and Justin Timberlake all represented in multiple songs. Below you can find a list to all the song's that made this year's cut, as well as links to previous editions.
Avicii feat. Aloe Blacc - Wake Me Up
Bruno Mars - When I Was Your Man
Capital Cities - Safe & Sound
Daft Punk feat. Pharrell Williams - Get Lucky
Eminem feat. Rihanna - The Monster
Florida Georgia Line feat. Nelly - Cruise
Imagine Dragons - Radioactive
Imagine Dragons - Demons
Jay-Z feat. Justin Timberlake - Holy Grail
Justin Timberlake - Mirrors
Justin Timberlake feat. Jay-Z - Suit & Tie
Katy Perry - Roar
Lady Gaga - Applause
Lorde - Royals
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Ray Dalton - Can't Hold Us
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Wanz - Thrift Shop
Miley Cyrus - Wrecking Ball
Miley Cyrus - We Can't Stop
OneRepublic - Counting Stars
P!nk feat. Nate Ruess - Just Give Me A Reason
Rihanna - Stay
Robin Thicke feat. Pharrell & T.I. - Blurred Lines
Swedish House Mafia feat. John Martin - Don't You Worry Child
Taylor Swift - I Knew You Were Trouble
Will.I.Am feat. Britney Spears - Scream And Shout
Purple and yellow color scheme? Check.
Greedy? You betcha.
Unapologetic? Put it on the board!
Just an uncanny resemblance to my favorite video game character of all time. So what if the dude screwed over his real estate partners to the tune of $84 mil? That's nothing compared to the damage I do with Wario each time I visit Boo in "Mario Party 2".
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Hope you guys all had a delicious Thanksgiving! Due to lethal mixture of holiday hangover, work and moving into my new apartment this week's column is scantier than Miley's outfit at the VMA's.
2 Man Weave Anti-Lock Of The Week (3-9) G-Men -1 vs the 'Skins
Because a good captain always goes down with his ship.
The King's Throne
Keytwitty (30-29-1) Ari +3.5, Mia +1.5, Atl +3.5, Cin +1.5, Jax +7
Watch The Throne
Chooch (27-32-1) K.C. +4, S.F. -9, Cin +1.5, NYG -1, Sea -6
J Fonts (26-31-3) K.C. +4, Hou +7.5, Oak +9.5, St. Lou +9, T.B. +8.5
Danye (25-32-3) Den -4, T.B. +8.5, Jax +7, N.O. +6, Tenn +4.5
Cambo (25-32-3) Atl +3.5, Den -4, NYG -1, Cincy +1.5, Sea -6
Dough Boy (25-33-2) Indy -4.5, Car -8.5, Ari +3.5, N.E. -7.5, Buff -3.5
Miggs (23-35-2) Indy -4.5, Jax +7, T.B. +8.5, Ari +3.5, S.D. -1.5
Gary (22-35-3) Chi +1, St. Lou +9, N.E. -7.5, N.O. +6, T.B. +8.5
Flem (18-37-5) Pitt +3, Den -4, Chi +1, S.F. -9, NYG -1
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Nate Burleson, WR, Lions- Week 12 Stats: 7 rec, 77 rec yds, 1 rec TD
In his first game back from an arm injury brought upon by dramatic late September pizza-rescue, Burleson caught seven balls for 77 yards and a touchdown in Detroit's 24-21 loss to the suddenly surging Buccaneers. Burleson was clearly Stafford's favorite target not nicknamed Megatron, and should continue to get a ton of looks playing second fiddle in the second most pass-happy offense in the league. He can stretch opposing defenses in ways Kris Durham never could, making him a threat to get into the end zone on a weekly basis. I wouldn't feel horrible about heading into the fantasy playoffs with Nate as my WR3.
Julian Edelman, WR, Patriots- Week 12 Stats: 9 rec, 110 rec yds, 2 rec TDs
Edelman played the Wes Welker role to perfection in the Patriots 34-31 come from behind victory over the Broncos Sunday night. He caught nine balls for 110 yards and two touchdowns in a game that saw his team fall down 21-0 early. From a fantasy standpoint Patriots players have been a crap shoot all season long, with Aaron Dobson (0 points in week 12) being the most recent example of this. But the upside is there, and I'd still rather start someone like Edelman or Amendola over a "stud" wide receiver from a lesser offense like Golden Tate or Cecil Shorts.
Montee Ball, RB, Broncos- Week 12 Stats: 7 car, 40 rush yds, 3 rec, 17 rec yds
Benny Cunningham, RB, Rams- Week 12 Stats: 13 car, 109 rush yds, 1 rush TD
These are both precautionary measures in event that Zac "Staced God" Stacy and Knowshon Moreno are limited or miss this week's games altogether. Both the Broncos and Rams (in the post-Daryl Richardson era) have been highly effective at running the ball this season, though if I had to prioritize my waiver claims I'd give Ball the slight edge over Cunningham.
Moreno was seen on crutches and wearing a walking boot following his 38 touch, 230 yard performance in Foxborough. So there's reason to believe that even if he can suit up against the Chief's on Sunday that it would be wise of the Broncos to limit his carriers and give more work to Ball, the rookie out of Wisconsin.
Stacy suffered a concussion in the Ram's 42-21 beat down of the Bears, but still managed 87 yards on 12 carries and a score. Cunningham picked up right where Stacey left off, adding another score and 109 yards in his absence. Zac will need to pass the league's concussion protocol before lacing it up against the Niners on Sunday. You're going to want to monitor both situations closely, but if you need a home run performance in order to make the playoffs, both of these players could have huge pay offs this weekend.
Ben Roethlisberger, QB, Steelers- Week 12 Stats: 22 of 34 for 217 pass yds, 2 pass TDs
Big Ben has been on a tear of late, throwing 11 touchdown passes in his last four games, and surprisingly has the one time 2-5 Steelers on the verge of playoff contention in the top heavy AFC. Roethlisberger has a Thankgiving night showdown against their biggest rivals, the Ravens. Aaron Rogers owners could hedge their bets by picking up Big Ben in case their gun slinger misses a fourth consecutive game. He's out there in about a quarter of all leagues.